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almost 40 pounds lost…. look at those dimples! #fulllength #verticalsleevegastrectomy #dimples #face #after

Originally posted on Facebook on August 25, 2013 For those who wonder what music I’ll be listening to on the way to the hospital, and before the surgery (while I’m waiting), I’ve already had the pre-surgery mix on my iPhone for a few days. There is a few great songs, and some that are hilarious, given the circumstances. Amazing Grace – Ladysmith Black Mambazo Atheists Don’t Have No Songs – Steve Martin & The Steep Canyon Rangers Beautiful Day – U2 Chicken Fried – Zac Brown Band The Dynamo of Volition (Live) – Jason Mraz Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams) – Daft Punk Good Morning – Singing In the Rain Great Day – The Lonely Island Hands Up – Black Eyed Peas Here It Goes Again – Ok Go Home – Phillip Phillips Hopeless Wanderer – Mumford & Sons I Have Confidence – Maria & Original Soundtrack I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked – Ida Maria I Will Wait – Mumford & Sons I’ve Got a Dream – Tangled (Soundtrack from the Motion Picture) I’ve Just Seen a Face – Johnny Rivers If This Is It – Huey Lewis & The News Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton) – The Lonely Island Less Talk More Rokk – Freezepop Let’s Dance – David Bowie Madeleine – Jacques Brel Man of the Hour – Norah Jones Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin The Most Beautiful Girl In the Room (Live) – Flight of the Conchords Need You Now – Lady Antebellum Nothin’ But a Good Time – Poison Oh My God – Ida Maria Pump It – Black Eyed Peas Pusher Love Girl – Justin Timberlake Take Back the Night – Justin Timberlake Tik Tok (Glee Cast Version) – Glee Cast Toes – Zac Brown Band Wagon Wheel – Jeremy McComb Walking On Sunshine – Katrina & The Waves What a Little Bit of Love Can Do – Jeff Bridges #music #sleevegastrectomy #surgery #usic

Originally posted on Facebook on August 23, 2013 Surgery Countdown – 3 Days. Today I met a client at Panera. I drank my protein shake on the way over so I wouldn’t be tempted at all to indulge. And I didn’t, just so you aren’t overly concerned. But let me tell you, nothing smells so freaking good as an asiago cheese bagel going through the toaster. I literally had to stop talking and swallow because my mouth was salivating. And even though I wasn’t hungry, MAN, did I miss the mouthfeel of the bagel, crunchy and soft with butter and tangy cream cheese. Aw geez. It’s moment like these I have to tell myself, you can do it. You can wait 6 months and then have a mouthful of bagel. You. Can. Do. This. And then things seem ok. But see, that’s the thing with us fat people, ladies in particular… We have a different relationship with food. And it’s a weird one. So, in my head, it’s perfectly alright that I put on my calendar on Feb 23, 6 months from now, “eat a bite of bagel with cream cheese” where other people might find it unusual, or the sign that I’ve got some issues with food. We all have issues with food. It’s how each of us is handling them, and the choices that we’re making that defines how sane we are. #food #health #sanity #sleevegastrectomy

Originally posted on Facebook on August 20, 2013 Why did I choose something completely irreversible, the VSG, as opposed to the Lap Band, or gastric banding? The answer is two-fold. 1. I did a lot of research about all the types and didn’t like the idea of putting a foreign body into my system. I know that sounds crazy in that I’m removing a large portion of my stomach, but it does mostly grow back, though never back to it’s crazy large size, as it is right now. Also, there’s lots of interesting hormonal things that happen when the stomach is removed. Folks with diabetes report being off their meds within days, not months. Because your body has to rewire how it perceives hunger and other hormonal stuff. 2. LapBand surgeries have a huge percentage of people with buyer’s remorse. Meaning, they work hard, they get the surgery, which is expensive, and then they don’t lose as much weight as they want/need. Then they look to have another surgery to help them lose the extra weight. Also, LapBands aren’t really reversible (they ARE, but surgeons don’t like doing it), there is a high complication rate, especially in the 5-10 years post surgery (you know, when I’m ready to be living my real life) and you have to deal a lot with needles.

Originally posted on Facebook on August 23, 2013 Are you allowed to laugh during the early days of recovery? or will it hurt you? This is a great question, because when my sister had her heart surgery a few years ago, she wasn’t allowed to laugh or cough, because of the way they did the procedure. Of course, my coping mechanism is to make people laugh, especially myself, so I got some nasty looks from the nurses… But my sister made it through just fine, even though she had to hold her stitches from time to time. I don’t have many restrictions, as my procedure will be done laparoscopically. That means that there will be 5-6 small incisions made, awesome tools put through those little holes, including a camera, and only a minimal amount of abdominal muscle will be torn. It means the recovery time is days, not weeks. And that aside from heavy lifting for a few weeks, I can laugh, cry and sigh all I want. There is actually little breathing exercises I have to do every day (deep breathing and coughing) to make sure blood doesn’t clot in my lungs. Coughing is a lot like laughing, right? People who have had the surgery complain mostly about gas being trapped in their shoulder joints. They have to blow up your abdomen in order to do the surgery, and the gas has to go somewhere; they do get most of it out. But it’s the little gas bubbles that take forever to dissolve that cause people crankiness. Fortunately, one of the best fixes is getting adjusted. And fortunately, I have a great chiropractor. #gasbubbles #health #littleholes #sleevegastrectomy

I used to run. I lived in a lovely neighborhood in a quiet suburb, and I would run walk through the forest on this paved path. I had a 2 mile circuit. It was wonderful. I was finishing grad school, applying for jobs, dating and breaking up with a loser. The run/walk time was precious. I listened to great music and really got a good sweat up. The world seemed nicer. Then I had a car accident that totaled my car and my neck and may back. I couldn’t walk without pain for many months. And by then, I had met V. And instead of running after work, I was driving to his house to have make out sessions over calculus (Don’t judge. Math is hot). And maybe, in some way, I was starting to break down. I was beginning to get weak. What good was being healthy and thinner? V loved me in all my curvy-ness. He didn’t care if I was fat or thin. So exercising became less of a priority. Fast forward 7 years. I’ve dropped 50 pounds. I’m smaller than I’ve ever been. And on a recent walk I had the very distinct urge to run as far as I could. So I did. It wasn’t very far, and I thought I was going to die when I finally stopped. But I did it. It felt amazing. I was free again. The world, despite all of its nastiness, seemed nicer. My neighborhood has grown accustomed to seeing me walk every day (sometimes twice a day). Now that they see me running and walking, it’s like they are cheering me on (I have the same circuit every time, either flat and long, or down and up a hill (and long)). I get waved at. Neighbors have started saying hello (the ones I see every day). And yesterday, when I went out for a run and it was pouring rain (literally, pouring rain), I got more than one person honking, as if to say “You go girl! Not even the rain can stop you!” I’m using an awesome app on my iPhone to track my run/walks, in conjunction with a fitbit pedometer. In the app there is an 8 week 5K training program. I started it. It’s a good mix of walking and running, aimed at getting you to run an entire 5K, at the end of the 8 weeks. Even if I’m still walk/running at the end of the 8 weeks, I’ll be better off than when I started. What is it that you love, that you let go of? What can you start doing to make yourself feel better about the world? What’s holding you back from it? Anyone can start from anywhere. I’m proof of that. Just 7 short weeks ago I was barely able to finish a 10 minute walk. What can you do today to change your life for tomorrow? #5K #sleevegastrectomy #running #change #struggle #exercise

Originally posted on Facebook on August 24, 2013 Surgery Countdown – 2 Days. I did something super hard today… And it might not seem super hard to you, but it was super hard for me. Remember this ad? I’ve got a few things that I always have put together. Movies in a theater and popcorn is one of them. I’ve cut down on the butter product over the years (sometimes I don’t have any!). But there is something about the delicious crunchy-ness and settling in in the dark to watch something big and magical. Today we went to see “The World’s End.” We’ve been looking forward to it forever. And it was good. But that’s besides the point. I didn’t have popcorn. I had water. And smelled as V ate a hot dog. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I had my fake mocha frapp-a-protein-cino in the car on the way there, so I wasn’t hungry. And they were kind enough to not pop anything fresh while I was standing there. One of the big things they talk about in all the material for any weight loss surgery is that it WILL NOT solve your emotional issues with food. You have to do your own work and solve those. And while I think I have done lots of work, I always think I need to do more. Of course. We all do. But I had a blinding flash of the obvious today when I enjoyed the movie without popcorn. And, really, I didn’t miss it either. It was a major triumph. It helped strengthen my resolve. But, please, don’t tell anyone about the small spoonful of homemade chocolate sauce I had after dinner. OK? #sleevegastrectomy #popcorn #blindingflashoftheobvious #food #behavior

Let me preface this post by saying, yes, I’m going to tell you about how I pooped my pants. If you don’t want to read about that, I’ll be sure to mark it out, and you can skip it. It’s not horribly gross, but I know some people have issues with poop. Consider yourself warned. It has been a month. And I am proud to say I have not vomited. And up until yesterday (the actual anniversary) I had not “dumped.” Dumping Syndrome is a thing where you eat something you’re not supposed to, so your stomach, instead of sending it in reverse, puts a rush order on it, and you literally dump it out. Meaning you get that horrible urge to poop, and if you don’t do something about it, you’re gonna be in trouble. Most sleeve patients don’t get dumping issues. Mostly it’s the gastric bypass folks. But it does happen. I had a lovely lunch meeting with a networking friend. We were going to meet at Starbucks, but I asked to go to Corner Bakery, so I could actually eat something. Mmmmmm, I thought, Chicken Tortilla Soup (with the tortilla chips) or Broccoli Cheese? I bet the Broccoli Cheese has more protein, and I’ve eaten broccoli. I know that’ll be OK and I won’t vomit it up all over my lunch date. It was delicious. I ate about a third of it, really slowly, while we were talking nerd/geek stuff. *this is the beginning of the pooping my pants story. you are warned.* As the meeting was finishing my stomach was rumbling a bit, but I didn’t think much of it. I was going to stop in the bathroom, before the 30 minute drive home, but they were being cleaned. It’s not too urgent, I thought. It can wait. I drove home. Walked into the house. Picked up the mail. Started sorting it. My stomach/colon loudly grumbled. I moved to take a step towards the stairs and then felt a very weird sensation. Almost like I had peed myself. That’s bizarre, I thought. I don’t even have to pee-ohmygodijustpoopedmypants. I very carefully tiptoed upstairs, so as not to leak poop on the floor (it’s bad enough V has to clean up after the cats. He shouldn’t also have to clean up mine.). I went into the bathroom, and into the bathtub. I had no idea how horrible this was going to be. I was taking all precautions. I stripped off my pants and underwear. It wasn’t bad at all. Just a small accident. I sat down on the toilet and almost exploded. I’m so glad my body could wait that extra two minutes. Because if I had exploded into my pants, I would have had to throw those pants and underwear away. And I really like that pair of underwear. I realize this is graphic, but it’s not nearly descriptive enough. *end of the pooping my pants story.* The take home message from this? My stomach is not ready for Broccoli Cheese soup from Corner Bakery. #recipes #verticalsleevegastrectomy #food #kitchen #poop

I decided to write about the food in separate posts. My goal is to post a recipe a week, for those of us who desire the deliciousness in our mouths, but are tired with the fake-sugar-bullshit that is crammed down our “dieting” throats. Anything that goes in my mouth has to be high in protein, so if you’re trying to get more protein and less carbs, sugar and fat, then you’ll love these recipes. If you’re a fan of fresh organic ingredients, you’ll also love them. There will be no rice, pasta or bread. At least not for a while. This weekend I crock-potted 2 chickens. After rubbing them with homemade Ranch seasoning. It worked so well last week with just one chicken, and gave V food he could easily prepare for lunch or dinner, and something I could easily pull from the fridge and eat. Everyone says canned chicken is good for this, but I don’t like the thought of canned chicken. I can easily make my own version, and it’ll be so much better for me. The crock-pot chicken recipe: http://practical-stewardship.com/2012/03/10/crock-pot-chicken-recipe/ And the Ranch recipe: http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/healthy-homemade-salad-dressing-ideas So, now I’ve got two delicious chickens, all cooked, with plenty of juices left in my crockpot, and lots of bones. What could I possibly make from that? Chicken Stock of course. It makes your whole house smell so delicious. It’s a bit unnerving. I think the cats might think we (humans) were the reason, and that’s why they’ve been bitey lately. I think they’re disappointed that we don’t taste very good. The stock recipe: http://practical-stewardship.com/2012/09/22/crock-pot-chicken-stock-or-broth/ I didn’t have any veggies, so I threw in some garlic and shallots, which I did have. I will save veggie scraps from now on, so the next time I make this, I’m ready for an even more delicious stock. When it was done, I set aside enough to make Chicken Mushroom soup, and then froze the rest in ice cubes or 1 cup portions. Then I made the Chicken Mushroom soup and V’s lunches. The Chicken Mushroom Soup comes from “Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery” (http://amzn.com/1569244537) and even V said it was awesome. For V’s lunches/dinners I made a quinoa casserole in the rice cooker. 8 ou cooked dark meat chicken (or white, or whatever you like), chopped half a bag frozen brussels sprouts (or the whole bag) 1.25 cups dry quinoa 3 cups water soy sauce and butter to your liking Put everything in your rice cooker. Switch it to cook. Come back when it’s done. Portion out into 1 cup servings. Seal in Tupperware. Freeze. Never listen to your partner complain that he doesn’t know what to eat for lunch/dinner. I’ve been enjoying having tasty soup, and egg whites with Laughing Cow cheese, homemade hummus, miso soup with tofu, and black beans. I’m even more looking forward to cheese on cucumber slices. Maybe next week? What recipes should I try? What recipes do you love? My goal is to make all my favorite recipes small stomach, protein friendly. Because I realize I love being in the kitchen. I love cooking. And I don’t have to give that up, I just have to be creative in how I do it. Which I also love doing.

Originall yposted on Facebook on August 25, 2013 OK. Today is a bit scary. It’s the last day. And as someone at the party I was just at said, anytime you go under (for surgery), it gets a little scary. The reality of what’s going to happen has sort of set in. That it’s really going to happen. It’s almost like this past week has been a dream because it didn’t feel real. And now it feels very real. That’s right. I was at a party. Less than 24 hours before life altering surgery and I was surrounded by beer and soda and chips and burgers and delicious salads. And I drank a protein drink. And some Odwalla green juice. I didn’t have a single chip. Or burger. Or soda. Or frozen peanut butter ball (even though they are amazing. ohmygodPhowdoyoumakethem?) We played some games, we chatted, and around 5:15 I left. Because my will power was running out and I was tired. When you’re not eating anything all day, you get tired early. I’m home now, and trying to think of what to pack for the next two days. Books? Crossword puzzles? Magazines? I think I’ll skip the cross stitch and knitting projects. I imagine I’ll be sleepy/sleeping and won’t have the intelligence required for crafting. I loaded up the Kindle with some good stuff, and packed a few magazines I’ve been meaning to get to. And I threw in some crossword books I’ve been dabbling in. I mean, I can’t just play Candy Crush Saga for 2 hours, right? Right? Right. #crosswordbooks #sleevegastrectomy #willpower #hospitalfun #party #food

Originally posted on Facebook on August 22, 2013 Surgery Countdown – 4 days. Interesting things today…. I’m tired. Not eating is hard work! And my stomach is grumbling like an 80’s punk rock band…. maybe from no solidness, maybe from being hungry, who knows… But it is loud, and I’m pretty certain the people sitting next to me this morning heard it. Headaches are ebbing, thanks to Gabrielle‘s peppermint oil trick and an amazing amount of water. And fluffy friendly kitties who always seem to walk by when the pain gets too intense. Nothing like a good old energy shift to put everything right in the world. I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be, but I’ve still got a few days to go. And now, a nap seems fitting, before a lovely dinner of miso soup broth. #misosoup #sleevegastrectomy #peppermintoil #food #energyshift

Originally posted on Facebook on August 20, 2013 Surgery Countdown – 6 days. On the list of interesting things today, I’ve got a giant headache. Apparently it’s not necessarily from the sugar and/or caffeine withdrawal. It’s from the withdrawal of everything. Because I’m on a total liquid diet for the next 6 days (and then 2 weeks). Had my pre-op appointment today with my surgeon. He’s such a funny guy. At one point he asked, “When are we doing this thing again?” It took me a minute to check my rage at his insensitivity, until I realized he’s got 50 patients, probably. And he just follows his calendar. He doesn’t memorize everything! I’m happy he remembered my name and was nice to my mom and husband, who were along for the ride today. And it was supposed to be funny, I think. Did I mention I can’t take anything for the raging headache? Right, everything that helps with headaches also thins your blood… which is bad for right before surgery. Nothing like playing through the pain #sleevegastrectomy #giantheadache #caffeinewithdrawal #liquiddiet #countdown